hello from sickland!

dear Mom,

how are you? (probably the same as last we spoke: harried and tripping over one of your many animals, but you taught me it's always polite to ask. you win!)

you will be saddened to learn -- and if not, you should be -- that your best and brightest has developed a mysterious, non-itchy rash all over her back, arms and torso. fortunately, it seems to be only superficial in nature... though the theory has been floated about that it could be a weak strain of chicken pox, in which case a care package is definitely in order.

speaking of packages, a big one arrived for me today from someone i'll call irene mctannus who was silly enough to leave off the zip code, resulting in a massive delay in delivery of said package. do you know this person? if so, tell her i said thanks for the free lesson in patience. also thank her for initiating the transformation of my adult menstrual life by including a Diva Cup among the contents. what a thoughtful and not too personal addition! i and my ovaries owe her a massive debt. (and no, as the presence of the cup indicates, i don't intend to repay in grandchildren anytime soon.)

as per your complaint, we here at the office of Happy Child/Parent Relations realize that thirteen dollars is INDEED too much in shipping for two surface inches of silicone, even if it is 'Diva-fied.' unfortunately we are unable to honor requests for refunds at this time.... but we do appreciate your loyalty!

i do have some news that i think is almost as good as getting thirteen dollars back. perhaps you will be flattered to know that 'oh dear mom' is my new favorite phrase. i prefer saying it to 'oh dear god' or 'oh sweet jesus' or 'goddammit!' or any of the other irish-catholic curses that served as the gentle music of my youth. example: hot spaghetti falls to the floor and lands on my foot. i immediately yell, 'oh dear MOM!' doesn't that sound nice? now, you're with me all the time and no deities have been offended -- pardon, no deity. a double success, no?

my last morsel of tasty news for the hungry mom machine: i am in the process of building a very professional, yet whimsical website. it's been a big undertaking to realize myself as an adult artist... even though candy is still one of my favorite subjects to shoot. especially giant candy. on a personal and vaguely related note, thanks for painting my room yellow as a child 'to encourage creativity'. anecdotal evidence suggests this was a massive success!

write me when you've shooed the animals from the keyboard. i'll be waiting.

love always, your biggest fan,

gina xx